Bullshit Ebay Description of the Day

Kinja'd!!! "functionoverfashion" (functionoverfashion)
05/02/2016 at 11:25 • Filed to: lolvo

Kinja'd!!!1 Kinja'd!!! 1

Inspired by !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , I checked ebay for V70R inventory. As usual, there aren’t any manuals. But I did enjoy reading the obvious used-car-dealer-written description on !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! .

Here’s an excerpt:

These V70-R’s are contain the highest hp motor Volvo has ever produced, are AWD full time, are lowered from the factory

Hmm, let’s break that down, shall we?

Highest HP motor Volvo has ever produced - Nope, even in 2005 they had the V8 in the XC90 that was rated at ~311hp. Nevermind something like the Polestar V60 with 345hp... but whatever.

AWD full time - yup, true. Ok fine.

are lowered from the factory - This statement makes no sense. I mean, I know what they were trying for (lower than a V70?) ... but no. A stock V70R is AT the “factory” ride height, by definition.



That said, it does look like a nice car, especially if it’s truly one owner. And relatively low mileage... but automatic. I just dislike the standard wall-of-text-brochure-copy/paste garbage, along with the standard “this is the nicest one...” crap.

It will be very tough to price shop this V70-R, or compare it with anything else because of the rarity, condition, colors, options, low mileage and 1-owner history. Don’t miss your chance to purchase this rare V70-R!!

lol.


DISCUSSION (1)


Kinja'd!!! boredalways > functionoverfashion
05/02/2016 at 11:47

Kinja'd!!!0

I trying to figure out what the deal is with the triple k turbo. Doesn’t Volvos of that era only use Mitsubishi turbos, or was the turbo blown up and replaced?